It's a Wonderful World
by Reinkakou
Summary: In an attempt at getting out of doing his job, Rigby winds up applying to the local community college to use classes as an excuse for leaving early; though, anyone hardly believes his false intentions of learning, and they have good reason to. But in the process of escaping from work, he'll find himself "working" a lot more than expected. Rigby/Thomas
1. This World is Mischievous

Regular Show and its character belong to J.G. Quintel as opposed to I, who's just borrowing them for all the wrong reasons. Story will contain gratuitous Thomas/Rigby smut, so if you'd rather not becoming invested in something like that, turn around now.

Note: My smut is something that even I consider gross and kinky to a degree, so brace yourselves and no weeping tears of blood.

* * *

"Thomas, it's almost 1:30!" Benson called out to the goat.

Thomas set his rake against the tree. "Okay, thanks!" yelled back, quickly trotting off back towards the house and leaving Rigby in absolute shock. Mordecai simply ignored it. This hadn't been the first time the goat had gotten off work as an intern early for classes, and it sure as hell wasn't going to be the last either.

"Aw, man!" Rigby whined, "That's like the third time this week, dude!"

"What?" Mordecai frowned. He knew _exactly_ what the mammal was getting at, but maybe if he pretended it wasn't so obvious, Rigby would let it go and leave him out of it.

"Thomas! He always gets off work _WAY _earlier than the rest of us." the raccoon pouted. Thomas hadn't even been working here at the park anywhere near as long as he or Mordecai had; so why he got a special privilege of sorts from Benson was completely unneeded and outrageous. If anything, Rigby should be the one getting a break. A nap sounded pretty damn good right about now.

"So? He has classes at the college, Rigby." Mordecai explained with a sigh, "What does it even matter? It's not like he gets paid to work here."

"Pff- so he can just get out of work because he has some nerdy class to go to?" Rigby pouted irately. Thomas must be screwing the boss or something.

"You're totally not listening to me." Mordecai muttered without the slightest trace of astonishment. It was in Rigby's nature not to listen as much as it was to whine about unimportant matters such as this very one.

"Yeah, well. I bet Benson wouldn't let _me_ leave early, even if I had classes too."

"That's because you don't take school seriously and it would never happen." the bird laughed, watching his friend fume up. "What do you care? You don't even go to school, so I don't see what all the 'what if's are about."

"It could happen!" Rigby yelled back, still clearly only choosing to hear the select parts of what he wanted.

"Pff. Some people actually care about their education, and you are not one of those people." the bluejay taunted. "You don't even have a high school diploma. What kind of college would accept you?"

"Dude, it's not that hard." Rigby scoffed, "Thomas isn't even that smart, how hard could it be?!"

"You're certainly one to call other people out on not being smart."

"STOP TALKING!"

"Seriously though," Mordecai persisted, "You hardly know anything about him. He could be some sort of genius mathematician and you'd have no clue."

"What the hell does magic have to do with being smart?"

The avian let out a loud groan. Jeez, he always proved capable of being irritating. "You're such an idiot."

"Hey!" Rigby barked, "I'm pretty sure we argued over something like this before, and that it spiraled out of control. And I'm sure you also remember what it was that saved us." the raccoon grinned confidently.

Mordecai rolled his eyes. "Rigju-"

"RIGJUICE, THAT'S RIGHT! I'D SAY ONLY A GENIUS WOULD BE CAPABLE OF CREATING A CURE."

"It's not like that's what you intended." the blue jay argued.

"Hm. Hm. Whatever. I'm going to go ask Benson about it now." Rigby stated, scampering off back to the house as had Thomas to create what was bound to be just another problem.

Mordecai took a deep breath. He honestly didn't care what Rigby was getting himself into nowadays anyhow, and the bird really wanted nothing more than to lead a normal and decently successful life. And that sure as hell wasn't going to happen if he was goofing off and getting into trouble all the time. In short, he felt himself beginning to grow up. Less could be said for Rigby.

The raccoon was still just as much of a child as ever, and not that it was a bad thing, but Mordecai had just been finding it more and more uninteresting and harder to bide through lately. Not that he'd completely lost interest in his friend, but more so the crap that he became the cause of. Mordecai was just getting tired of all this supernatural crap that always seemed to come out of nowhere.

"Good luck." the avian chuckled to himself.

* * *

"ABSOLUTELY NOT!" Benson sputtered in disbelief at the raccoon's proposal. Was he mental? "THERE'S OBVIOUSLY SOME OTHER MOTIVE FROM THIS THAT YOU'RE GETTING AT!"

"Aw, come on, Benson!" the raccoon pleaded back. "I just want to better my education."

The gumball machine let out a loud laugh; one that lasted an awkwardly long period where everyone else could only spend quietly watching from the sidelines of Benson's fit of chuckles that led him to tears. Rigby's face remained unfazed and completely serious all the while.

"YOU?" Benson laughed, "You're getting worse at lying, Rigby."

The mammal fumed. "I'm not lying!"

"I don't see what's wrong with him wanting to further his learning." Skips stated blankly, stepping into one of Benson's arguments as fearlessly as ever.

"Pff." the machine scoffed, "I don't know what his ulterior motive to all this is, but it sure as hell isn't to 'better his education', he probably just wants to miss out on work." Benson explained, turning to give a wicked smile to Rigby. "I'm right, aren't I?"

The raccoon shook his head and Benson let out another loud laugh. "Whatever. There's not a college that would be willing to accept someone who couldn't even manage to get their high school diploma." the gumball machine furthered.

"I dunno, Benson." Skips began, "It's just a community college, so I'm sure they wouldn't mind letting Rigby attend so long as he pays his tuition."

"What's your defense for that?!" the machine blurted out, "There's no possible way he could afford the tuition. And since when the hell has it been a community college? They have on-campus dorms." Benson froze for a moment, turning back to Skips with a sudden face of absolute shock. "Wait, why are you _DEFENDING HIM?"_

Skips merely shrugged and Benson let out a sigh.

"I'll just get Don to pay for that tuition-thingy." Rigby threw out, having been all too forgotten during the yeti and gumball machine's minor dispute. "He's loaded, after all."

"Why would he help you financially with how horrible you are to him?" Benson asked flatly.

"Hm. Hm." the raccoon grinned, "'Cause he's _too_ nice."

"Know what?" the gumball machine finally began, "If you can set everything up yourself and get in, I don't care what you do or what work you miss." Benson groaned in defeat. At least this meant Rigby wouldn't be around to annoy him as much. And perhaps with Rigby gone and nobody to goof off with, Mordecai would work just that much harder.

"Ha!" was all Rigby said in response, skipping gleefully away from the two and back to the work he'd been avoiding all this time.

"I hate him so much." Benson muttered.

"I don't blame you." Skips grunted, both men finally breaking their serious faces into chuckles.

* * *

"No way, dude." the blue jay frowned.

"Oh, come on! Why not?" Rigby whined, latching onto his friend and dragging along the ground like a deadweight. "If you tag along, you could take a class with Margaret. She goes to the college too!"

"It's not like we're going to have some romantic discovery during a _college class_." Mordecai muttered, "And she's really never on campus anyhow. If anything, she's at the coffee shop more than the college." the bird finished, trying to scrape the raccoon off his leg with his free foot. A couple of jabs to the face was all it took for the mammal to release himself, but Mordecai already knew that Rigby's whiny pleas were far from over.

The raccoon rolled off onto the grass, laying lazily on the ground and looking up at the clear, blue sky with an expression of utter boredom. Most likely simply because he hadn't gotten his way; what a crybaby.

"Silent treatment?" Mordecai asked, the raccoon remaining where he was without even the slightest of movements. "Jeez, you're such a kid." the blue jay groaned, "I'll think about it, okay?" A wide grin crept across Rigby's face, and the smaller male practically flipped up off the ground with the smuggest of looks. "I still think it's a stupid idea though."

"How so?"

"You're doing it to get out of like- an hour of work. Yet you've forgotten that college is a lot of work too." the bird said.

Rigby chuckled. "A lot of work? As if."

"Oh right, you never worked very hard in regular school either." the bird let out sarcastically.

"Whatever, man. Just help me get the paperwork filled out."

* * *

Thomas sat at his computer desk staring blankly at the bright screen and feeling his eyes grow heavier in exhaustion. Class had been a lot shittier today than he'd initially anticipated, and with finals approaching in the distance, there was still a ton of preparations that needed to get done. Added to the loads of homework he'd procrastinated into a huge pile of assignments. Not that he'd done it intentionally; he'd just been busy lately.

"I hate this so much." Thomas exhaled. Between interning, his legitimate job of working various shifts at the movie theater, and finally schoolwork itself, there was little relaxing to be done and only room for pent-up anxiety and stress.

Thomas let our a load groan of frustration, scrolling through his class assignments with countless other tabs open as resources to begin on one of the many papers he'd been saving up until now. While it may prove difficult for the goat to begin the work, he'd consider himself fully capable of executing a fantastic job on any assignment. In simpler terms, the difficulty or measure of the work wasn't the hard part. What was, was getting him to actually start doing it.

The door of the room flung open, thankfully slamming into the doorstop rather than the wall, but still scaring Thomas to no avail. A small raccoon struggled to drag his suitcase through the doorway, the case itself almost as big as the male in his entirety.

"Woah!- Hey! What are you doing?!" Thomas yelled out as Rigby nonchalantly waltzed into the goat's dorm and tossed his belongings on the vacant, yet somehow still messy, bottom bunk of the room's bunk bed.

"This is my room too now." Rigby frowned, tossing himself alongside his suitcase upon the soft bed, letting out a deep breath of satisfaction. He could tell Thomas wasn't very happy about this right off the bat, and perhaps that's what made things even more enjoyable than expected.

"You don't go here..." the goat trailed off.

"Wrong again." Rigby corrected, "I do now. Funniest part for everyone is probably how quickly they accepted me. Joke's on everyone else then, I guess." the raccoon grinned, "And I requested a room with my good friend Thomas. "

"What are you even talking about?.." Thomas paused, "But wait, I asked for my own dorm."

"Well, there's clearly a bunk bed in here for a reason." the mammal remarked, sitting up and beginning to dig through his things within his suitcase.

Screw guidance for having agreed to allowing the goat his own room if they were only just going to let Rigby in right away without even asking his consent on the matter. Freaking stupid.

Rigby could actually begin to see why Thomas had asked for a room to himself, the dorm being much more spectacular than the mammal had expected. The bunk bed sat towering up towards the ceiling against the wall dressed in blue sheets and white blankets, reminding Rigby a lot about his dorky friend back at the park.

A shelf on the opposite side of the room was crowded in what Rigby assumed to be Thomas' things; a large television accompanied by the latest gaming system that the raccoon could only ever hope to afford. Multiple little figurines were lined across the shelves as well, of which Rigby assumed to be action-figures of some sorts, alongside stacks of vintage-looking comic books.

Large aquarium sat promptly alongside the television with a faint humming sound and faint artificial lighting to present the array of colorful fish swimming within.

Dresser stuffed with Thomas' clothing next to a door which Rigby presumed led to a bathroom or hopefully kitchen of sorts. Air conditioning machine that sang a subtle buzzing tune in harmony with the fish tank hung up attached to the ceiling above a large set of screen doors with curtains pulled back that led to a railed balcony with a lovely view of the sunset and cityscape, if Rigby did say so himself.

A desk with a computer atop it sat in one of the corners of the room in front of the desk chair that Thomas was seated in. The floors were hardwood, but majority of it was covered by an expanse of blue rug which coordinated with the curtains and beds. The walls and ceiling were white much like the walls and ceiling of Rigby's room back at the park, but were undoubtedly cleaner.

"This place is awesome..." Rigby giggled in awe.

"Better be with how much I pay for it." Thomas muttered, "I still don't know why you're in it though."

"How many times do I have to say I go here now?" the raccoon groaned.

"I don't believe you." the goat explained.

Rigby sighed. "I wanted to get out of doing work early like you, so I told Benson I'd start taking classes here."

"And he let you?" Thomas practically gasped in disbelief.

"I know, right?" Rigby laughed.

"What classes are you taking?"

"None." the raccoon snorted, yet somehow Thomas wasn't at all shocked by this answer. Hell, it was probably what was expected of the little slacker. But what it didn't explain was why he was _here._

The goat paused. "So you're in my room, why?"

"I said I'd start taking classes _NEXT _semester." Rigby answered, "That being said, I have nothing to do and nowhere to go for the time being. So instead of doing stupid homework and learning, I figured I'd just come and chill with you and Benson wont even know the difference."

"Yeah but I _ACTUALLY_ have classes." Thomas spun slowly around on his desk chair as Rigby ignored his comment and continued to toss more and more of his belongings out on the floor beside the bed. Though to be honest, while the room's ceiling and walls were clean, less could be said about the floor that was infested with Thomas' own clothes and junk. Rigby couldn't help but chuckle quietly to himself upon noticing a pair of the goat's heart-covered boxers on the floor. What a loser.

"Why'd you bring your stuff?" Thomas asked, still not entirely sure on what the heck was going on here. One moment he's just continuing on with his regular, everyday life. Then there's this little brat from work running in here and saying he lives here too now. Jeez...

"Well, this place actually has a bed for me; so I figure it's better than sleeping on a trampoline back at the house."

"Oh, right." the goat mumbled.

Rigby faked a frown. "I'm so upset you're not very enthusiastic to see me."

"Fuck you." Thomas muttered to himself.

"Wow, where'd that come from?" Rigby laughed. Though in all seriousness he was slightly caught off-guard to here something like that from the assumed goody-two-shoes and momma's boy Thomas. The fact that he was living here at the college and not with his mother might as well be the real question of all questions here.

"What do you mean?"

Rigby finished taking the last of his things out, having now created a meaningless pile upon the floor and merely knocking his suitcase off the edge of the bed to set atom his pile of crap. "I wouldn't expect hearing you say that is all."

"I can't talk like that to a superior." Thomas said plainly, turning his attention back to his computer and trying his best to return to the way things were before the raccoon had burst right it.

"Superior, eh?" Rigby thought aloud, "Your superior wants you to get him a soda then."

"We're not at the park, dick." Thomas answered coldly.

The raccoon didn't really know what to do at this point seeing as how less friendly Thomas was coming off as originally expected. Sure, Rigby was used to annoying the hell out of people, even if he lived with them; an example being Mordecai. But it was different with someone he knew so little like Thomas. Though, he clearly knew the goat enough to the level of wanting to room with him. Hm...

That being said, Rigby wasn't really sure he wanted to start possible months of living with this guy on the wrong foot and acting like an ass from square one.

Rigby let out a breath. "I'm sorry." he muttered, earning a puzzled face from Thomas. "For being annoying." was all the raccoon could come up with.

"It's okay." Thomas chuckled, causing Rigby to perk up a bit.

"Wanna play some video games?" the raccoon questioned, "I mean- if you don't mind me using your system." Rigby corrected, trying to break back on his rude habits.

"Sure." Thomas smiled, Rigby smiling back.

Maybe this actually wouldn't be so bad... Then again, it could actually wind up becoming a maelstrom of hellish, angst-filled, chaotic shit. Anything's possible in this wonderful world of ours. And it really just all depends on the way you choose to look at things.

* * *

WAIT FOR IT


	2. This World is Surprising

Rigby let out a sigh of defeat at Thomas' sixth victory in a row, screen flaring brightly in an obnoxiously congratulatory fashion for the goat. Despite that, Rigby found himself not caring all too much. The graphics of the actually modern-day system made even losing seem fun, where less could be said for his 8bit system back at the house. Besides, it was Rigby's first time playing this kind of game, so him losing was inevitable. Rigby would be beating Thomas easily with a little more practice, and it had nothing to do with his complete handicap at video games... honestly...

"Eh, I think that's enough." Thomas laughed weakly from the top bunk, tossing his wireless controller down to safety on the beanbag chair below.

"I let you win." Rigby explained with a laugh of his own.

Not too surprisingly and as often happens with likes of video games, the duo had been playing for a lot longer than it truly felt. It was odd how even six games could even take up so much time, even with how quickly the raccoon had the tendency to lose. That being said, Rigby's eyes were worn out from the bright screen in the dark room and it was looking about time for him to tuck in for the night.

"Dude, I'm tired." Rigby yawned, throwing his controller alongside Thomas'.

"Same." the goat responded simply, exhaustion clear in his voice as well. "Been a long day of working at the park and then all the work from my classes..." Thomas drifted off in thought for a second as he felt another oncoming yawn. "I guess I'm just lucky I didn't have work today."

The mammal on the bottom bunk frowned to himself. "Don't you work at the park?"

Thomas let out a chuckle. "It's not like I get paid; I need an actual job too."

"Where do you work?"

"The movie theater in town." Thomas yawned, weariness beginning to clearly sink in on him as well.

"You should totally let me in free some time." the striped mammal joked. Rigby watched the form on the mattress above him shift around from below. He felt like he was having a sleepover of some sort like he'd had countless times with Mordecai when they were kids. It kinda loses its touch a bit when you become roommates and you're constantly ready to pounce on each others throats, but-..

It was kinda nice, actually. The raccoon had more fun than he'd expected, having foreseen himself only annoying Thomas as much as he possibly could for amusement, but the goat was handling this whole ordeal much better than even Thomas himself probably could've imagined. It was odd, but Rigby couldn't deny being happy about it.

Thomas climbed down from the top bunk as the bed let out loud creaks, drowsily stammering over to what Rigby had learned was the kitchen door in now nothing more than his undershirt, socks, and of course, underwear. "Want a soda?" the goat offered.

The raccoon found himself starting to stare, refraining his curiosity long enough to actually look Thomas in the eyes and feed a response. "Uh, yeah."

"Hmm?" the bovine asked.

"I see you're stripped down now." Rigby fumbled. God that really came out a little less professional than he'd hoped. Though, he found it nearly impossible to point out the goat's partial nudity without it sounding any bit sexual in the slightest.

"Yeah, I did it all the time when this dorm was just _MINE._" the goat humored, heading into the kitchen.

Television flashed from one blind scene to another, but with the volume muted, all was left to the imagination. Some horrible commercial that Rigby had already seen countless times at the park was running, and regardless of there being no noise other than Thomas in the other room rummaging through the fridge, the raccoon found himself able to remember every stupid word of the advertisement just by the movement of their lips. Really, he was just trying to burn that image of Thomas out of his head before it did collateral damage to his sanity.

The raccoon didn't really have a problem with it..- I mean, they were both mature guys here, right? And Thomas did have a point. He should just be thankful the other male wasn't walking around the room naked or something. That's when Rigby's stomach started to uncomfortably squirm; the realization of how much he'd actually been paying attention to Thomas' crotch.

The striped mammal would easily confess that he'd felt attraction towards guys several times before to really anyone without hesitation; it wasn't that big a deal to him, and he could honestly care less what other people thought. That's not to say he'd just tell Thomas right here on the spot that he wanted to see his junk or anything. Uh...

Rigby would just come out and say it as best he could without crossing any lines, but the goat's bulge was pretty freaking huge, and the raccoon would be lying to nobody but himself if he said that curiosity wasn't currently eating away at him. Not that he wanted to see it in any sexual way, I assure you, but rather just... fascination. There was no way he was that big. And uh-.. if so, what about when he was hard?

Thomas walked back out the kitchen with two cans at hand, heading towards Rigby who awkwardly pull the blankets up over his crotch, fearful that his body might start craving a little more than soda.

"Here." the bovine held out the can.

"Thanks." Rigby muttered, opening his beverage to the loud hiss.

Thomas' grin fell once more, the goat sitting down on the edge of Rigby's bunk; horns barely grazing the underside of his mattress. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." the raccoon spat, avoiding eye-contact with the larger male and sipping at his drink. Thomas did have to admit he was probably coming off a bit strong there by treating Rigby like some sort of sick kid whose father has to come console him. Regardless, his concern remained unfazed no matter how pushy he may be coming off as. Rigby sure as hell knew how to be pushy at times, so he should be able to handle it too.

"Oh," Thomas laughed. With how much Rigby was avoiding looking at him, the goat became painfully aware of the uncomfortable position he was putting the raccoon into. "Sorry, I'll try to stray from being this undressed around you." Thomas chuckled.

"Dude, it's your dorm." Rigby defended, honestly just trying not to give up the opportunity to see Thomas in his boxer-briefs again. The bovine must do it often enough if he'd consider it from day one of having a guest. Then again, maybe Thomas just wasn't as considerate as Rigby has thought. He was much more restrained at the park, that was for sure.

"What happened to it being _your _dorm too?"

Rigby's face dully lit up underneath the television's flashing screen. "It still is!" the raccoon barked, "I just-.. dunno."

Thomas paused for a second, taking in everything and piecing it together a lot better than Rigby probably gave him credit for. Sure, the goat didn't really come off as smart, well, to Rigby at least; clearly. But he was actually pretty quick to catching onto people's choice of action, and as I'm sure you'll find later, Thomas was also very skilled at manipulating this talent for nothing but benefit. Him wearing underwear added to Rigby's drastic change in mood clearly meant Rigby had an issue with the goat's lack of clothing.

However, because he was also defending Thomas' side of the argument as opposed to his own and giving a simple, "Yes, I feel uncomfortable, put some damn clothes on." meant he really didn't have _THAT MUCH_ of a problem.

So if this wasn't a negative reaction, then...

Thomas let out a deep breath, setting himself up on the bed and turning to face Rigby. The raccoon only looked at him questionably without a word, the goat only smiling as he ran a hand across the bulge in his briefs that traveled all the way to the edge of his hip. "Wanna touch it?"

"W- WHAT?!" Rigby screamed, Thomas quickly leaning across the bed and covering the smaller male's mouth.

"Dude, it's late. Keep it down."

"How the hell do you expect me to be quiet when you're coming on to me like that?" the raccoon whispered loudly.

The goat moved even closer, "I'm not coming on you yet, but I could be if you want." Thomas said, grinning proudly at his horrible little excuse for a play on words. The bovine put the raccoon between his legs and allowing Rigby complete and total access to the thick tool he carried. "Don't be shy." Thomas frowned.

Rigby was at a complete loss for words at how quickly things had escalated between the two of them. One moment he's bursting in this dorm and arguing with the bovine, then he's playing video games as if they're the best of friends, and now the two were like some terribly old married couple putting an attempt into role-playing and crashing harder at it than Mordecai trying to talk to Margaret.

Still, Rigby felt his mouth unintentionally salivate in anticipation for that slab of meat right in front of him, and his stiff erection under the sheets only posed as another sign that he wanted Thomas' cock more than he may have thought. Goddamn all this pent-up sexual frustration that he'd only soothed with masturbation his entire life, and here he was practically being handed the real thing. So why decline? Plus Thomas was clearly very-.. blessed in the department.

The raccoon shakily and slowly extended his hand out towards Thomas' crotch which seemed miles away out of his grasp somehow, regardless of the fact that the bovine was practically right up on him. Thomas sighed, taking grasp on Rigby's hand, and sliding it along his length. "One touch should make it easier."

"Beg to differ." the raccoon nearly choked in embarrassment. It just felt so weird to be studying the goat like this, and even worse was the fact he really just wanted to yell at Thomas to take his damn underwear off already and stop teasing.

A single ball filled Rigby's small hand completely, the strained fabric of the goat's underwear looking ready to bust. They felt full and heavy; ready to pump gallons of Thomas' cream into anything or anyone without hesitation.

"Uh, c-can I-?" the striped mammal stuttered, running a finger along the leg hole of Thomas' underwear. Thomas laughed at how overwhelmed by something this basic Rigby was; it was kinda cute, truly. But the bovine was sure there were probably a lot of cute aspects about the whiny little raccoon that he didn't know about. He'd be sure to experiment and find out some time later, that he was sure of.

"Go for it." Thomas grinned, Rigby slipping his hand up the goat's underwear. The first thing he came across of course was those huge, furry nuts he'd held in his hands only moments before. Then moving north to the base of Thomas' dick, and watching the outline of his hand travel all the way down until the head of the goat's uncut, flaccid cock lay underneath his palm.

Rigby could almost feel himself drooling at this point with Thomas' warm, fat cock in his grasp. What caught his attention the most was that he couldn't even wrap his hand around the immense girth of the bovine's manhood, even when soft. "SERIOUSLY_ THOUGH, WHAT ABOUT WHEN IT'S HARD?!" _the smaller male screamed in his head.

"Fuck-," Rigby muttered, "How big does it get?"

"You'll have to find out some time, I guess." Thomas teased, getting up out of Rigby's bed and leaving the mammal in complete shock and dismay as he climbed up to the top bunk and began flipping through channels with his self-proclaimed remote privileges. More so that Rigby was just too lazy to climb up there and fight him for it, but seriously! What the hell was that?

"Did I do something wrong?" Rigby asked. Come to think of it, if he'd been doing it _CORRECTLY,_ Thomas would've already gotten hard throughout all that, right? Hell, the raccoon got a raging hard on that nearly hurt just from looking at the _OUTLINE_ of the goat's dick. In Rigby's defense though, it was his first time experimenting like that, as embarrassing as it may sound. So if he did something wrong, you couldn't really blame him, right?

"No." Thomas answered, "I just think that's as far as we need to go on day one." the goat justified. What a liar he was though.

Thomas was that kind of inwardly smug and clever asshole who would tease Rigby with little glimpses and touches until the mammal was practically down on his knees begging for the bovine to suck it or fuck him senseless. He'd just keep it up until he had Rigby his hands as easily as the striped mammal had his cock, but with less fumbling of course.

"I guess you're right..." Rigby mumbled back, looking at his hand and the sticky, warm fluid that coated his paw in the television's glare. The raccoon looked up at Thomas' indentation on the mattress above, embarrassingly licking the goat's pre off his hand, immediately lapping at it several more times in pure delight of its taste.

As much as he also wanted to jerk off that hard-on in between his legs, he mustered up all his resistance and self-control in the morality that he need not jerk off in this given environment. God how much that stiffy proved to hurt though, with every throb begging Rigby to rub one out and stabbing into the mattress every time the mammal moved and rolled while trying to ignore the pestilence.

Thomas smiled to himself proudly from the top bunk, continuing his venture though the channels for something that actually seemed plausible. It actually proved difficult to find anything on this late on Wednesday nights, but he was sure that there had to be _SOMETHING_. However, if he didn't find anything, that was okay. Rigby had more than entertained him enough for today at least, and as much as the goat also wanted nothing more than to relieve his day's stress by masturbating, he knew that it'd be worth the wait.

Plus he was slightly concerned about his cum dripping or seeping through down onto the raccoon below, even though he was fairly certain Rigby wouldn't mind a single bit at his point. But what he was uncertain of, was how long exactly it would be until Rigby's sanity and self-control caved and he was left nothing but a sex-hungry fool.

* * *

Thomas, I believe a once wise oracle by the name of Taylor Swift once said, "Why you gotta be so mean?"


	3. This World is a Hectic Luxury

"Thomas!.. _And Rigby_..." Benson screamed across the park, spitting the raccoon's name incoherently to himself. "It's 1:30!"

"Finally." Rigby groaned, tossing his rake carelessly in the zen garden's stream and making his way off to attend his fictitious classes at the college alongside Thomas. Mordecai shot his friend a glare, fishing the rake out of the water himself and setting it in the _PROPER_ place that Rigby proved too lazy to accommodate. Such was typical behavior from his smaller companion, and the answer about why he hadn't become used to it by now remained a mystery.

If it weren't enough that Rigby were one of the biggest slackers the work had ever known when it came to his job, the raccoon always had to complain about whatever he could. Today's topic had apparently been the heat, which was somewhere around ninety-degrees, maybe. Never the less, Rigby had made sure to let _EVERYONE_ in the park know about how hot it was.

Thomas did as any good employee or person with common decency would; the responsible thing, and put his tools up all by himself like the mature adult he was. But to make matters worse, Rigby's feet scampered across the raked pebbles, completely putting hours of work shared between the trio to waste. Not that it mattered obviously. Rigby was done working for the day, which only left Mordecai to pick up the work from then on by himself.

The blue jay sighed, beginning to ponder how hard finding a new and less obnoxious best friend would be. Rigby had told Mordecai about his little scheme and imaginary classes after everything had already been set in motion, but as much as the bird hated and envied his friend to some level solely for actually getting away with things like this, he wasn't going to snitch on him to Benson. A lie of this proportion was bound to get Rigby fired from the park permanently, seeings how many threats the gumball machine had already made as result of the raccoon's lack of work.

Even if he didn't find it right to sell Rigby out, don't mistake for a minute that he actually approved of what his friend was doing in the slightest bit. Nor did he think that it was a good idea in any way, shape, or form either. It was just plain stupid. But Mordecai had a feeling seeded down inside him that Rigby would slip up and learn a lesson from this as time were to come. You can only continue weaving your web of deceit until you inevitably become tangled.

Out of all of this, however, Mordecai did feel bad about not explaining everything as clearly as possible to Don, who'd been so kind as to pay for his older brother's rent for the unneeded college dorm. Well, the raccoon's half of the rent at least. While the initial request of rooming with Thomas may have cost a tad bit extra, that was already good and done.

But Don did truly and foolishly buy into Rigby's trick of taking classes at the college, and even became ecstatic upon hearing the news. Maybe his brother could finally amount to something more than just a park employee. It was unfortunate that he clearly didn't know his brother well enough by now...

Though, the older raccoon, not too surprisingly, forgot to mention that he wasn't interested in enrolling at all. Ridiculous. Don was basically being tricked into paying a second home for his brother just so Rigby could get away with this immensely stupid plan. There wasn't anything to gain from wasting your brother's money as an excuse for leaving work one, maybe two hours early.

Mordecai was left to himself as the mammalian duo made for the parking lot. In a way, he did slightly feel replaced in the process of all this by Thomas, but it bothered him a lot less than you'd probably imagine. Why? Mordecai wasn't really sure of that entirely himself. Perhaps a break from Rigby was just something that becomes a necessity at some point after the countless shenanigans the mammal tends to put people through. That being said, Mordecai prayed for Thomas' sanity in putting up with the raccoon.

"See ya, Mordecai!" Rigby called back, waving. The blue jay couldn't help but weakly wave back and return to fixing the stream-like pattern that Rigby had so carelessly destroyed.

"See ya." the avian repeated back with a grumble.

Ivory gravel roughly slid under the rake's teeth, returning to the original style that the park tried so hard to maintain for some damnable and time-consuming reason. The zen garden's purpose was for use of meditation, or at least, that's what Mordecai had heard and stereotypically assumed. Benson never really did specify the purpose in everything everyone did. While most times it were pretty straightforward, it could also occasionally get pretty hazy, and there were other times where it was painfully clear that the gumball machine was only assigning busy work so that there was something to relieve the boredom of this dull park. Regardless of what it was for, really, he didn't see the purpose of all this horrendous work just to appeal to something like _mediation.._ Jeez, did that stuff even work to begin with?

Mordecai inhaled deeply, savoring the sweet, cool air that blew through the warmly colored and ignorantly placed trees of the garden and rustled their leaves against one another to create a symphony of tranquility. If such a thing were to actually work, he could sure as hell use it right about now. Perhaps just by savoring the moment of his isolation...

First _full_ day without Rigby, and it was already looking pretty calm from here on out; for both Mordecai _and_ Benson.

* * *

Rigby climbed up into Thomas' van, struggling to pull himself up into the obnoxiously tall car. Well, tall to the raccoon for that matter. Rigby forgot about it by making himself at home as soon as he loaded in; small feet up on the dashboard, AC and radio blaring, and no seat-belt. What a badass he seemed like right about now. And he'd only look even more badass as Thomas hit the breaks and he flew out the the car's windshield like a baseball and lay wounded in the street like roadkill. Buckle up, kiddies.

Thomas pulled out of the park's sizzling asphalt parking lot, his car's tires might as well having melted throughout the hellish inferno today had been. The goat raised an eyebrow at the mammal beside him. "You really should be wearing a seat-belt."

"Okay, Mom." Rigby retorted.

"I'm the one who had to pay the consequences if you get caught," Thomas sighed, gripping the wheel tighter as his level of irritation grew, "Plus I don't think you'd want your life in my hands if that's the case."

"Fine, fine." the raccoon rolled his eyes, pulling the nylon strap across his body and feeling the extra protection setting in immediately. Ha, as if. Rigby felt freaking stupid, even more so for giving into Thomas' whim. The kart back at the park never had seat-belts, and all the shit he and Mordecai had done on that thing left amazement about how the two weren't dead yet. Simply put; he wasn't used to using them.

"Good," the goat chuckled, "I might even take you out to get lunch for being so cooperative."

"Lunch?" Rigby perked up, "Don't they just have a cafeteria at the college?"

"Yeah, if you want shit food." Thomas chuckled, "Well, I mean. I guess it's not _all_ that bad, but there's better stuff out there, no doubt. You get sick of it after a while too." the goat explained, crossing over into the adjacent lane to turn in the oncoming intersection where cars flooded as the remnants of lunch-hour dispersed. "So goddamn slow..." Thomas muttered to himself, the duo listening to the constant ticking of the van's turn-signal.

Mordecai and Rigby typically didn't get a break for lunch until 2:00 or 3:00 when it came to working under Benson's strict rule and iron first, so this whole college escapade was proving to pay off under more and more circumstances. Who knows what other benefits were yet to come.

"Get my wallet out of my pocket for me." Thomas requested, checking his mirrors before continuing to switch lanes once more. Driving seemed difficult and rather monotonous to the raccoon which is why you wouldn't catch him dead driving a car. Perhaps it was also the condition that Rigby was too small to legally drive that helped in the prevention.

The raccoon let out a breath, he was a lot more tired than he'd thought, despite the lack of work he'd actually completed today. Rigby just wasn't as strong as everyone else, in both physical strength and determination. "In the right one?" the striped mammal asked, slipping his hand into the goat's khakis and nearly falling out of his seat as he fell right into one of the dumbest tricks in the book; hand ramming right into Thomas' cock.

The goat laughed historically, resting his head on the steering wheel as his fit of mocking laughter got the best of him. "Your face-..." Thomas cut off, choking into a series of violent coughs before wiping the tears in the corner of his glassy eyes away.

"You're such an idiot." Rigby spat, not anywhere near as amused by Thomas' joke as the bovine himself was. It just felt slightly awkward how casually the goat had gotten him to touch his manhood; it was last night all over again. Thomas was such a fucking tease, wasn't he?

"You can try looking again, if you'd like." the goat grinned, Rigby's muzzle growing hotter as the sexual tension began skyrocketing. The raccoon idly looked around to make sure that no one would be capable of seeing the uncomfortable act he was about to partake in, but the remembered HOW STUPIDLY TALL this van was. The only people who'd be able to see Rigby sticking his hands suggestively into Thomas' pockets might as well be the police copters screaming at them to pull over after a long car chase for refusal to pull over and pay consequence for jerking your friend off while he's driving. Well, certainly things wouldn't escalate _that_ far. Rigby was having quite the over-exaggerated imagination lately so it seemed.

Slowly slipping his hand back into the other male's pocket, Rigby found Thomas' dick still there waiting to be played with under his hand. Though, the smaller mammal wasn't really sure of what to do since his pocket were pretty goddamn restrictive. But the goat was obviously just trying to tease; he didn't expect much. What a jerk.

Rigby felt as the goat's cock gradually grew fatter and larger underneath his palms touch, the raccoon just basically feeling out the form as best he could. It was just the same as it'd felt the other night when Rigby stuffed his hand into the mammal's underwear. Except this time there was two layer of fabric between him and Thomas' manhood and he hated it with burning passion.

"Whoops." Thomas frowned, twitching as his rod squirted a wet spot on the inside of his pocket formed. Rigby giggled, did he really just-

"Did you cum?" the raccoon mocked.

"Pff." the bovine scoffed, "Course not. That was just pre."

Course when Rigby er-... masturbated, it had been more like little drops of precum that leaked out gradually. Never had he seen it fire out like a freaking hose. "That's... a lot." the raccoon explained, Thomas chuckling in response.

"Not really." the goat assured, making yet another turn into a diner parking lot and parking the car. Rigby pulled his hand out, palm once more slightly sticky. Rather, this time the striped mammal merely wiped the pre on the car's seat as opposed to hungrily licking it away as he had the night before like a desperately cum-hungry whore. That just seemed like too far a line to cross with Thomas right there beside him. Though, Rigby did feel about letting that pre go to waste...

"We'll have to get something to go," Thomas explained, "Sorry. Class is starting really soon."

"Okay." Rigby responded, quite honestly having rather preferred if Thomas would just fucking plow him with his giant meat than go out and get lunch. He was more hungry for sex that food right now, honestly. Jeez, maybe Rigby really did need to slow down. It was only day two and he was already head over heels and lustfully craving for the bovine.

* * *

It was about the quickest 'get in and get out' Rigby had ever seen, but the duo had somehow managed to get out of the restaurant a lot quicker than expected. The raccoon could begin to see how easy it was for Thomas to pick up food before class when he didn't fool around.

They both ate feisty, scarfing down their meals before they arrived at the college. Thomas had just ordered some generic burger whereas Rigby got a chicken sandwich. While their eggs might as well be crowned the most god-awful excuse for food in the world and should all burn a horrible death in the hottest fires of hell, the bird itself was rather good.

"So you can eat your lunch while you drive, but not pull your wallet out of your pocket?" Rigby laughed smartly.

"Shh." Thomas chuckled, "That wallet bought your lunch." the goat smiled, pulling into the college lot on this seemingly endless journey of nothing but damnable parking lots, and Rigby's impatience didn't help things.

"Yeah, thanks." the raccoon smiled back, getting out of the car and politely throwing his trash away in one of the nearby trashcans as Thomas did the same. The goat kept his car pretty clean, or above par so it seemed. Would've just been douchey of Rigby to leave the trash from the meal Thomas just bought him in the goat's own car. While the raccoon _did_ have a reputation of being a douche often, he had some class; obviously.

The goat led Rigby through the campus, being greeted by just about literally every person on the horrid campus, sparking up conversations like parents do with long-lost high school friends in the grocery store. And much like the child in the situation, Rigby found himself getting nothing but pissed off. The raccoon took a deep breath, assuring himself that he could overlook how irritating it was for him to sit on the sidelines of a conversation between his friend and some stranger.

It'd be different if he actually knew any of these people, and- holy shit.

"Hey, Thomas." Margaret greeted, hugging the goat who returned the embrace. "Ready for another one of Francisco's _ever so interesting_ lectures today?" she giggled.

"You know it." the bovine chuckled back, Rigby rolling his eyes as the two spouted random shit for what seemed like an ever-lasting conversation.

"Rigby?" Margaret asked, clearly surprised by the raccoon's sudden appearance in territory that you wouldn't think to ever find him in. The words "Rigby" and "school" just clash too much when you try to put them in a sentence together.

"Hi, Margaret." Rigby answered dully. Perhaps he'd be a little more enthusiastic if the robin weren't somehow socially related to about every guy Rigby had ever come to know. It just got annoying after a while, and that she was still playing this teasing game with Mordecai only irritated him further. They should get a room and fuck already, just to get it over with.

Rigby wasn't shocked to find her at the college, having been fully aware that she also attended right from the start. Did he expect to find her on campus as early as day two? Of course not. Definitely not in this setting with Thomas either. But as soon as Rigby returned the greeting, the two returned to their babbling and the raccoon started to make his way off towards the dormitories.

"See you after class." Rigby grumbled.

* * *

Rigby walked down the hallway until he came across the familiar room number he'd been assigned the day before; 299. Just one away from a perfect 300. Key slipped in and turned without hesitation, door flinging open and closing behind the mammal who merely left the lights off. What was the point of nature blessing you with nocturnal vision if you weren't going to use it? The fish tank's small, dull lamp was the only source of light in the dorm until Rigby climbed up the top bunk and searched through Thomas' covers for the remote.

He climbed back down the ladder and skillfully swung through the gap between beds and onto his own like the ninja he thought himself to be. The TV flipped on and dully lit its surroundings, displaying one of the same channels with the same show with the same episode. Boring.

The raccoon let out a yawn and sprawled out in the sheets. There was already nothing to do right away without Thomas here, and Rigby couldn't be any more bored than he was now. But the time in the dorm alone could prove valuable time to do some explorations of his own without the goat there to hound him down for being nosy.

Rigby quickly perked up on the bed, slipping down and sliding his feet across the rug to Thomas' overflowing dresser. He felt kinda weird having headed there first, but if he'd learned anything from television and movies, it was that teenage girls like to hide their diaries and personal belongings in none other than the underwear drawer. Whether or not it was right to compare the goat to a teenage girl he didn't know, Rigby would just have to wait and see.

The mammal dug through all of Thomas' stupid band t-shirts he never saw the goat wear, as well as all the dull and boring, plain, solid gray ones he wore to work despite how agonizingly hot it was outside. Needless to say that Thomas ended just about every day of work completely coated in sweat, and the fact that Rigby was now finding that slightly attractive posed a new issue.

Then came all the bovine's horribly designed underwear. Whether it be a solid color, checkerboard, plaid, hearts, seasonally decorated; Thomas had it all. Though, the concept of clothes in general had always seemed stupid. Why the hell wouldn't you prefer walking around naked all the time when given the chance? There were only so many benefits to being an anthropomorphic animal in today's society, and going commando everywhere you can if definitely one of them. Then again, Thomas takes things like school and work pretty seriously, and since that's basically all he does, maybe it made sense for him to wear clothes.

There wasn't a diary to be found anywhere in the goat's dresser, but the striped mammal did come across quiet a few unused condoms scattered here and there. And while the XXL rubbers put Rigby's head into a spiral of creativity over how big the goat's manhood could be, the condoms alone didn't interest the male if they didn't have Thomas' thick cock spurting load after load into them. So Rigby got to moving onto the comics underneath the television. The mammal tapped lightly on the glass of the aquarium, chuckling to himself as the fish fearfully swam away in terror. For once, he wasn't the small one.

Rigby knelt, pulling out one of the issues only to be completely shocked by the seductively positioned woman in nothing more than lingerie on the front cover. It looked more like Rigby had stumbled upon Thomas' porn collection as opposed to that of comics, and he was right.

There was everything from classic man on woman to man on man, varying woman on woman magazines, man on man on woman combos, and even woman on woman on woman. And the list just continued endlessly from there with every combination or theme you could imagine; like a wonderland of smutty pornography. It brought a new question as to why the fuck he proudly displayed them on his shelf like collectables for everyone to read. What a pervert.

Rigby couldn't lie to himself about being caught a little off-guard. Needless to say he was sure it was an exact guess that he'd assumed the wrong thing of Thomas. After last night's display of- er... affection, the raccoon had just expected the goat to be craving dicks left and right. And while it seemed like that wasn't _entirely_ false, there was clearly more to it than that.

The momma's boy Thomas was actually some more of a sexual deviant. Any outer innocence that the goat had towards Rigby before was gone, and it felt undoubtedly odd. If things were really like that, then the mammal highly doubted his friend still carried that trusty v-card from the looks of those condoms. But how many women had Thomas been with, exactly? How many men?

Obviously these were just stupid questions in Rigby's head, and there was no possibility of him actually finding the strength to ask any of those questions anyhow. But not because he was uncomfortable with asking them, but purely because he was scared of the answers. Why care though? It didn't matter whether Thomas had already been with someone before, it really didn't...

Though, Rigby couldn't shake that feeling, and knew himself well enough to predict the utter heartbreak he'd experience if her came to realize that Thomas was just nothing but a man-whore whose friendship with the raccoon was for nothing more than the sex to come. More importantly, if that were the case, would Rigby allow himself to be taken advantage of just to support this relationship of friendship or intimacy or love or whatever the hell they actually had with each other...

The raccoon hadn't had so much as a girlfriend throughout school for reasons he still couldn't fully understand. There was just something about a guy who's always latched onto his taller blue jay friend that turns girls away. It kinda hurt the first year or so, especially in high school when seemingly everyone except Rigby had a date to grossly kiss in the corners of the hallways averting the sight of teachers, but time passes by and heals all wounds and the mammal learned to stop caring.

Still, he wanted so badly to be Thomas' first if things ever went that far. Something about it just felt more comforting, something just felt that things would wind up more successful if they were each others first; stronger and more likely to last.

Maybe it was just purely out of jealousy of the fact that Thomas most likely had relationships at some point; how could you not with a package that big? Rigby wasn't even really sure that Thomas was single right now, seeing as he'd never thought of asking. The goat couldn't possibly... There was no conceivable way that a girl would put up with their boyfriend accepting all the attention Rigby had seen Thomas acquire today. So much attention that Rigby wasn't even dating the kid, yet still wound up aggravated. Especially when it came to Margaret. The raccoon wouldn't even dare trying to picture if the two of them have ever had some sort of intimate or sexual relationship with each other. Oh God no, he absolutely refused to think that.

"This is fucking stupid." Rigby mumbled to himself, slipping the magazines back to their original and tightly-cramped spots on the shelf. Why was he emotionally beating himself up over stuff that honestly didn't matter? Then things returned to being boring all of a sudden, and Rigby felt like his adventure through the room needed to end before things got out of hand.

It looked like it was back to laying bored on the bed for Rigby. With as much as there was to do alone and a shelf full of nothing but porn, the raccoon just wasn't up to it. As his hormones built up day after day, the mammal just found himself wanting his roommate more with each passing second. If Thomas would allow Rigby to sexually please him, there was no point in wasting them on pictures in a paper magazine when he could just wait for the real thing.

Rigby once more curled up, fatigued on the bed and watching the television as he flipped through channels in search of something actually bearable to watch. A loud clang of machinery led to an even louder buzzing, which put Rigby's hair on end in shock and threw him back in surprise like a cat. Why was the damn AC blasting now when it wasn't even anywhere near cold in here?..

* * *

"Er- hey..." Thomas paused, pulling his key out of the door and shutting it behind him. "What are you doing?" the goat asked, observing Rigby, who'd dressed himself in Thomas' spare garments and wrapped up tight in the bed sheets. The bovine flipped the lights on, rolling his eyes as Rigby dramatically howled in agony as the florescent rays stabbed into his eyes unexpectedly like daggers.

"It's really cold in here." Rigby shivered, sniffling loudly as his wet nose dribbled and jaw sporadically chattered. The bovine tossed his heavy backpack loudly onto the hardwood floor against his desk in the corner, and laughed weakly at his raccoon friend. Oh, this was just too interesting. "Yeah, I can tell..." Thomas chuckled while Rigby cast a harsh glare from his fabric-cocoon.

"It's that stupid air conditioner." the raccoon pointed, "It made this room into a blizzard in a mere hour and that buzzing noise if going to drive me crazy." Rigby hissed. "You're lucky I didn't start throwing shit at it yet." That wasn't just a measly threat either. The only reason the raccoon hadn't already is because he was debating which of Thomas' belongings to use first. He certainly wasn't going to risk breaking one of his own valuables; hell no.

"Because it's so hard to leave the room?"

"And go where?!" Rigby barked back. He was stuck in this dorm from the minute they got here until tomorrow morning when it came time for work. Rigby was nothing more than a stranger here, and the feeling was odd. The raccoon would be recognized as nothing more than "that kid who shares a room with the God known as Thomas" when it came to this college. It was like being that new kid in middle school or high school, and Rigby found the feel of it all extremely unpleasant. Rigby certainly wasn't going to sit outside in the hallway waiting for Thomas to get back either. That would be beyond pathetic. He'd look like an idiot who'd locked himself out.

Thomas sighed, heading over to work his technical magic on the AC's controls. "First off, this is a thermostat." the bovine gestured, the buzzing eventually creeping down to the same familiar and faint hum. "I usually have it set to cool the room right before I get back from class because it's so _HOT_ outside."

"Well it almost made me freeze to death, so I hope you're satisfied." Honestly, Rigby was concerned about the goat's fish at this point and confused about why that bubbling aquarium across the room wasn't a huge block of ice with cute, tiny, dead fish trapped within like insects in amber that your unloving aunt and uncle pick up for you in a gas station pit-stop on their road-trip to try and pass off as a gift from the trip when you clearly wanted something more. _Goddamn the both of them._

"Can you not tell how much I'm enjoying this?" Thomas grinned, pulling back the curtains to his balcony and letting in even more unnecessary light through the screen doors into Rigby's nocturnal den of shadows.

"Dude," Rigby growled, "Why do you need so much light?"

"I don't." the goat corrected, pulling open one of the screen doors and letting the faint song of birds join in alongside the air conditioner and aquarium. "I just think it's pretty sad you're freezing to death when it's in the high eighties outside."

"Are you kidding-..." the striped mammal stopped, feeling the warm breeze against his exposed areas. Jeez, he felt like such a moron now, having completely forgotten the option of sitting out on the balcony. "DAMMIT!" Rigby screamed, flailing about until he hatched from his bed sheet chrysalis and was down to nothing more than the sweatshirt and pair of jeans that he wore underneath; both Thomas', and both much too big for him.

The goat fought back falling to the ground and laughing like a madman until the brink of tears now at how ridiculous the whole situation was. No wonder the kid hadn't graduated from high school. Eh-... was kid the right word? Definitely.

But if you're susceptible to freezing to death in a dorm room and you don't try something as simple as leaving, you have the mental ability at exactly that; a _kid_, at best. Using your elements to your advantage and adapting is a clear sign of intelligence, and it looked about right to assume Rigby was not talented with such a skill.

"I guess I'm just not use to getting back from class to find a cute guy wearing my clothes." Thomas grinned dumbly, Rigby just rolling his eyes and averting the comment. He wasn't really sure if to treat the goat's comment as a compliment or joke, but he sure as hell could play along.

"They smell really nice." the raccoon grumbled, feeling his face burn up just like it had last night at his super crappy and mindless response. It sounded so much creepier out loud than it had within his head, but he wouldn't go back on what he'd say. They did... smell nice.

Thomas sat down on the edge of Rigby's bunk, repeating himself from the night before like a mirror and giving the raccoon a serious sense of déjà vu. Rigby again looked at him questionably with nothing much to say or do, but things became clearer as Thomas cloaked the blanked around himself and held the covers open for Rigby to sit in his lap. The smaller male obliged, and climbed to sit between his friend's legs.

Warm arms and blanket soon wrapped around Rigby as the two blankly watched the TV across the room from afar at a hardly coherent volume. Thomas held the raccoon close to his chest, and Rigby rested back against him in return. The two were already cuddling out of nowhere like it was no big deal, and maybe it really wasn't... It'd just caught the striped mammal by surprise was all, but he was undoubtedly enjoying it.

"Am I warm?" Thomas asked softly, resting his chin atop Rigby's head and furry goatee against his fur. The bovine could practically feel as the striped mammal's breathing slowed more and more gradually, the small patter of Rigby's heartbeat beneath one of his hands. Adorable.

"Mhm." Rigby answered sleepily. This felt amazing; just to have another person's consoling and protective hold around you. A sense of contempt and safety that made time irrelevant and life seem so simple. So much in fact that as Rigby's eyelids dropped and he dozed off against his friend, he had no regrets whatsoever. Because he felt a different side of the goat than he had earlier today, as well as the day before. Rigby didn't see a bovine that craved another person's touch against his manhood, but rather a caring person. Whether he was right or wrong about Thomas, how many men and women he'd been with in the past, or if the goat had even had sex yet to begin with and even everything he'd yet to learn about Margaret; it all didn't matter. All that did matter was this moment of bliss now.

* * *

Lol do you even lift? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?


	4. This World is Discovery

Slowly, and unwillingly coming back to reality, Rigby's eyes cracked open, and the mammal found himself awkwardly entangled in his blanket. His body was bare; Thomas' over-sized clothing having fallen off during slumber. Rigby let out a small, quiet yawn to himself, rolling over away from the wall to come upon a sight to behold. His good friend Thomas was sitting at his computer desk, headphones wrapped around his head, pants dropped, and hand knuckled around his rod.

Rigby watched in awe as Thomas stroked his cock from head to base, also glad to see he wasn't the only one who couldn't fit his hand around that giant slab of meat. The goat's tool hardly had any breathing room when cramped underneath the desk, so it came as no surprise when Thomas spun his desk chair to the side and allowed his manhood some space. Just kidding, it nearly scared Rigby shitless for that sudden gesture in his direction. The striped mammal quickly clenched his eyes closed, pretending to still be asleep, but cracking them just enough to still manage some vision.

Thomas' dick was-.. well, it was scarily big, but that's what Rigby had wished for all along. The bovine had been given the gift of both massive girth and length, leading Rigby to believe that he _MUST _be a virgin, because there was no way in hell Thomas was going to fit that inside anyone. That being said, the question about what Rigby were to do with it if things every crossed that path between the two of them arose. Eh, the raccoon would have to _make_ it fit inside him.

Heavy breathing continued as Thomas almost purposefully continued to jerk himself off in Rigby's direction, and the faint bleating under the goat's breath put Thomas in the spotlight for being adorable this time. It was a bit ridiculous how much precum dribbled all over the goat's dick though. Honestly, it's probably a pain in the ass to do something as simple as masturbate when you're spouting fluids like a faucet. However, Rigby could sense Thomas had grown accustom to it from how skillfully reactive he was; covering the head with his palm every time pre squirted out, and just rubbing it back on the rod for lubrication.

There's no telling what Rigby would've considered killing for a camera right about then, nearly throwing himself off the bed in frustration for only being able to lay there and pretend to sleep. The raccoon wasn't sure if Thomas knew he was faking or not, seeing as how the bovine turned to give the mammal a full show. But even if he hadn't, it was bugging the crap out of him. And with all of this going on, it should have eventually become clear to Rigby that without the goat's jeans on, his erection peeked out from the blanket, clear as day. Though, sadly for Rigby, Thomas was the first to realize.

The goat looked at his "sleeping" friend, and while it took a second to process what exactly that erection could mean, Thomas eventually grinned to himself upon realization. The bovine slid across the room on his wheeled desk chair, and took a second to stop his incessant jerking. Rigby in response held his breath as best he- wait, he was sleeping, not _DEAD._ Halted breathing resumed, and Thomas' snickers could be heard behind the raccoon's closed eyes.

"I could've been dreaming!" Rigby defended, 'awakening' to scold his friend. Didn't take very much for him to fold...

"But you weren't." Thomas chuckled tiredly, his dick still dripping sloppily down on the carpet. Rigby found this a lot more frightening than last night, for sure. Now that he could actually see the goat's monster cock, things were somehow more... serious? Well, to have it there in front of him; to see it.

"So-.." the striped mammal began aimlessly. Rigby had no idea where to go from here. Was Thomas just going to continue allowing him to watch, or was the raccoon about to become involved somehow? I mean, Rigby certainly didn't mind either of those options, but he was pretty lost and hell of a lot more nervous than Thomas seemed to be. But maybe he shouldn't be acting so stupid, it was hotter to seem confident, right?

"Finish it off?" Thomas asked, "My hands are a bit tired." he joked sarcastically.

"Uh- sure." the raccoon accepted. There was a point where you just need to take your pride and throw it away to allow yourself a bit of fun now and then. As much as Rigby wanted to put up even the tiniest of resistance to assert that he still possessed even mild dominance between the two of them, he found himself weak and giving in despite his best of efforts.

Rigby sat up, reached out, and placed his hand hesitantly on the goat's dick much like he had the night before. It was a lot warmer than he'd remembered, and obviously a lot slicker and wetter from all that precum dribbling out of Thomas like a fountain. The bovine's dick twitched under Rigby's touch, clearly already close to climaxing from all the work Thomas had put into it. This being the case, it surely wouldn't take much skill to get the goat off, right?

Sliding his hands up and down the extensive area of Thomas' cock got the larger male breathing heavier once more, and Rigby still remained partly stunned, amazed by the dick's sheer size, carefully watching as the foreskin shifted underneath his strokes.

"Am I allowed-" Thomas huffed, trying his best to look Rigby's puzzled face in the eyes, "Am I allowed to get you a little dirty?" the goat asked thoughtfully.

Rigby just simply nodded, continuing his process of milking the goat's dick. The fact that the raccoon felt the need to use both hands only made it more clear to him how small he was compared to this thing. The fur on Rigby's paws was completely drenched, basically soaking up all the precum coating Thomas' dick like a rag. The musky smell of it all was about to send Rigby over the edge as well. It'd been days since he'd allowed himself the luxury of masturbating, having told himself to wait for this exact moment. And how happy he was that he did. Though, it was unfortunate that all these hormones would be wasted in just stroking Thomas' tool. Well, not a waste, but- there were obviously other things Rigby would prefer to do.

Still, the raccoon's erection stood tall and hard in excitement and begging for attention, but there wasn't time to waste. Rigby was too focused on using his hands to massage Thomas' massive manhood to even begin thinking about himself. He was too busy wanting more.

Rigby leaned forward, sticking out his tongue and pressing his face against the bovine's cock, licking up the thick coat of precum as well as unintentionally pressing his nose into all of it, but he obviously didn't care. The same familiar taste ran through Rigby's mouth, and his craving became unbearable as he lapped away at Thomas more and more.

Maybe it was just this single extra sense of touch or the sight of Rigby completely whoring out that pushed Thomas over the edge, sending hot, thick, sticky load after load skyward and splattering all over the floor, wall, bed, and most certainly Rigby. Strands slowly dripped down from underneath the top bunk while the goat continued to spew his seed. It'd definitely been a couple of days since he'd emptied himself, but even Thomas hadn't seen this big a mess coming. Had he known, the shower would've been his first pick for this activity.

Thomas noticed the mammal in front of him as he uncontrollably shot even more warm, gooey loads against the raccoon's chest, worried about nothing as Rigby didn't seem to mind in the slightest. Good; he was beginning to break. Though, Thomas wasn't one to talk. He'd been the first one to unknowingly crumble and give into masturbating first. But when you have to carry balls of his proportion, you can only keep those loads in for so long.

But to everyone's surprise, Rigby started shooting cum all over himself as well, merely from being drowned in Thomas' seed; not a single touch needed. A hands-free climax felt undeniably odd and clearly pleasurable for the raccoon, but feeling the goat's warm fluid sticking in his fur, running down his dick, and dripping off his balls proved too much of a sensation for him to contain.

"You must've really enjoyed that." Thomas chuckled. At least the striped mammal was beginning to come out of his shell and be a little less shy about getting dirty with Thomas. And the goat was just the same cocky yet lovable douche-bag as before.

Rigby's eyes shifted elsewhere. "I regret not getting a mouthful of it though." the raccoon frowned, running his hand along the goat's half-hardened tool and licking his paw clean of the excess cum it collected.

"In due time." Thomas assured with a wink. As much as his dick was ready to just spring back up and blast another load in Rigby's face, the bovine knew it'd probably be for the best if they both just washed off and changed those sheets on the bed as soon as possible. And despite the raccoon's pleas, Thomas insisted that the two take _separate _showers, else the goat wouldn't be able to control himself. Too many hormones remained, and Thomas would absolutely dread becoming the one to who begs for sex; that was Rigby's role.

But after all that, everything appeared to have returned to normal, which laid as an odd feeling inside the raccoon's gut. Shouldn't they cuddle or something after that? Maybe oral just wasn't that big a deal to Thomas as it was for his smaller companion. Of course, taking into mind that it had been Rigby's first time having done _ANYTHING_ of that sort with another person, perhaps he was just over thinking things as always.

The goat returned to his top bunk after changing the raccoon's sheets and saying goodnight, and that was that. Rigby lay exhausted on his bed with an admittedly half-hardened manhood underneath. As much as he wanted nothing more than well- _more_, Rigby decided he needed to be patient for once in his life, knowing the goat would be well worth the wait.

* * *

Thomas poked and prodded at the small mammal, gently shaking him awake until two very tired and begrudging eyes looked back into his own. If anything was the most difficult part of all the new aspects of this move-in, it would probably be waking Rigby up in the morning to get ready for work at the park. How the raccoon wasn't used to waking up around this time after years of doing it, the goat would never know. But the same could be said for school students, right? Year after year of waking up early in the morning and it never gets any easier. Sleep's a bitch.

"Wake up dude, gotta get ready for work." the bovine whispered.

Rigby merely grumbled, rolling over away from Thomas and trying to get some more much-needed rest. What was there even to "get ready" for? It's not like the raccoon really had to wake up early in the morning to prepare for what he planned on wearing that day; one of the many benefits of not wearing clothes to begin with. "No." was all the smaller mammal grumbled, just as whiny as ever.

"Fine, more breakfast for me." Thomas chuckled, heading off into the kitchen.

Breakfast? There was no way in hell that Thomas was even capable of cooking a decent meal in Rigby's head, but regardless of that, whatever he had brewing in the kitchen smelled pretty damn good around now, and the mammal's growing stomach couldn't do anything but agree with that thought.

Rigby felt as if they were already like some sort of old, married couple by now. Of course if that meant he would have Thomas to take care of and pamper him, the raccoon wouldn't argue in the slightest. Definitely not if it meant he'd get some much-anticipated sex too.

The mammal slid out of bed, tripping over his own mess of clothes on the floor despite his natural sight as a raccoon; man, he'd really let himself go. But anyhow, after some intense cursing, Rigby was at the kitchen's doorway, nearly crawling from his fall like the over-dramatic child he'd always been made out as, for reasons obvious. If there were anything that he had a weak-spot for, it was food, his friend Mordecai, and huge dicks; but not necessarily in that order.

"Uh, good morning?" Thomas welcomed, Rigby only continuing to drag himself across the kitchen floor without a word. The raccoon hadn't been in the kitchen as much as any of the other rooms, shockingly. Mainly because, well, he had no idea where anything was. Plus the refrigerator's generally large height made for a natural mortal enemy. Rigby made some cranky grunts and grumbles to his roommate in return, loading his plate up with all the food left.

"Why'd you make breakfast?" Rigby asked, pulling himself up into a chair across from Thomas at the table with his stacked-high plate of food.

"Well," the goat began with an uncontrollable grin starting to spread across his face, "I figure this is my way of saying thanks for last night. Plus I've probably said it a thousand times, and I'll say it a thousand more; the food here sucks." Thomas laughed. Always laughing, wasn't he?

But Rigby didn't question it a second longer, and chuckled alongside him. Whoa, that really _did_ happen last night then, as hard to imagine as it seemed. One minute he's freezing to death in the dorm room being a crybaby over Thomas and Margaret being friends, then next thing you know, he's curled up in the dude's lap, wearing his clothes. And it didn't even seem necessary to mention that he, ya know, sorta sucked the guy off last night.

"If your hands ever get tired again, feel free to let me know." the raccoon jested.

"Oh, but I wouldn't want to trouble you." Thomas played along.

Rigby spent a good deal of time trying his best to think up a topic, but it proved rather difficult when the same pestilent, toxic thought of the goat and robin together, even merely as friends, clouded his mind with nothing but doubt and anxiety.

"So- er, how do you know Margaret?" Rigby asked suddenly, taking a risky shot in the dark that only made him feel damnably uncomfortable. Thomas just gave the male an odd look.

"What do you mean? She goes here, we're class mates."

"I think what I meant to say was, how _well_ do you know Margaret?" the raccoon corrected.

The bovine let out a sigh, "Is my little buddy getting jealous?" Thomas humored, causing Rigby to nearly spit out his meal in disbelief.

"OF COURSE NOT!" Rigby shrieked, face growing warmer in embarrassment. There was nothing to even be jealous about! Especially when the raccoon was, oh, I dunno, SUCKING HIS DICK JUST THE NIGHT BEFORE. There was nothing about the robin to be envious about, so why had the raccoon even brought up and asked the question in the first place? Sure, it seems stupid now, but only moments ago the curiosity about the topic seemed relevant.

"Pff. Totally are."

"STOP TALKING!" the smaller male demanded.

Thomas rolled his eyes. "Really. That's just it. We're classmates, so we know each other, and I guess you could call us friends." the goat explained, "But aren't you friends with her too thought? Why do you seemed so hung-up on the issue?"

"Friend is a strong word." Rigby took a deep breath.

"Oh, I see." Thomas laughed. By now, the goat had already finished his share of breakfast long ago, leaving Thomas with nothing to do but watch dully as Rigby gluttonously scarfed down his plate of food in mere moments. Jeez, the raccoon sure could fit a lot in his mouth. "I'm guessing it was good?" Thomas asked as the raccoon finished up.

Rigby nodded his head wildly, getting up from his spot. "Yeah, how did you learn to cook?"

"Mom." the goat laughed. That answer probably should've been obvious right from the start.

"Good woman." the raccoon commented, standing on his tip-toes to place his plate into the sink for washing. Oh, right... washing. Who would be doing that? As much as Rigby would feel guilty for making his roommate clean up after him, he also despised washing dishes a great bout as well; as bad as that may make him look. What could he say? Rigby was pretty damn lazy; the prime reason as to him being here in the first place.

Thomas grabbed he's keys off the counter, and the duo was already off to work.

* * *

"So... how are things with Thomas?" Mordecai asked, something about his tone making it clear to Rigby that the bird honestly didn't care all that substantially, and why he was even asking it to begin with remained questionable. Mordecai was probably just doing his best to make small talk after how distant the two had been over the past days.

"Good, I guess." the raccoon grinned. _Very_ good, some would say. As much as Rigby wanted to let his avian friend on the sexual scandal between him and the goat last night, the raccoon couldn't confidently say he knew how Mordecai would respond to it all.

The blue jay responded to his friend's smile with one of his own. Things weren't necessarily as enjoyable here at the park without Rigby, leaving Mordecai to try his best at socializing what other characters this place had to offer. And while there was much variety between Benson's aggression, Skips' always stoic personality, Muscle Man's obnoxiousness, and Pops'- well...

Margaret was also out of the picture, the robin making it clear through her distress that she'd be spending many of the upcoming months stuck on campus to catch up on grades she'd allowed to slip from her grasp over weeks of slacking. "Finals will be right around the corner before I even know it." she'd said on the matter, and Mordecai; while not being as educationally pursuing as his robin friend, could understand her dilemma completely.

After _ALL _that reasoning, there was nobody left for the place that came to mind other than High-Five Ghost and Eileen. However, due to Five's general tendency to hang around the loud, obnoxious, and sweaty Muscle Man like a sidekick of sorts, perhaps the mole would be the better first attempt.

"Dude! Are you even listening?!" Rigby whined.

"Huh?" the blue jay snapped out of his thoughts, "Sorry, what did you say?"

"Thomas has the new game station-" Yup, and Mordecai was already tuning his friend out all over again. Not that the bird had anything against the goat, but it was only natural to hold some spite against the guy for pulling his best friend right out from underneath him, even if it wasn't at all the dude's fault. Ugh. He didn't _want_ to feel negative towards Thomas, but he certainly didn't want to hear countless stories about him either. Though, the blue jay could already feel that this was only the beginning of a series of countless tales about the misadventures shared between Thomas and Rigby.

Oh, and on the topic of Eileen, what to do? How to explain his troubles? It'd surely be easy enough just to waltz down to the coffee shop as he would any day during the girl's hours and stir up a conversation. When in doubt of an interest, Mordecai could just bring up something about Rigby and Eileen would be sure to fall into a fit of captivation; most likely also accompanied by a flood of unwanted chatter. Still, better than nothing.

"Seriously, again?" Rigby groaned.

Mordecai just let out a deep breath, knowing there was no point in even trying to deny his inability to stay focused on whatever boring things Rigby had to say. "Sorry." was all the blue jay murmured back, Rigby shockingly picking up on things quicker than usual. Certainly abnormal of him.

"Dude, something wrong?" the raccoon asked as the taller male just rubbed at the back of his neck; feathers hot from the sweltering heat of the sun. God, stupid sun.

"Not really." Mordecai answered, "Maybe a little thing."

"What?"

"Don't worry." the bird reassured, "Just don't forget with this college charade going on that the park is still your home too." Mordecai explained with a smile.

Rigby stared up at his friend in complete dismay for moment before grinning cheekily as well. "I wont." The raccoon did feel bad about only seeing his best friend the sparse couple of hours that he worked, seeing as how he spent both mornings and nights at the college dorm with Thomas. He'd really just left Mordecai to himself without even considering the guy's feelings.

Then again, Mordecai could take care of himself, and something as dumb and sappy as his friend temporarily moving out wouldn't be sure to phase him, right? Rigby was the weaker link between the two of them, even the raccoon himself would admit that. That being said, it all must only be in the striped mammal's head. There was nothing to worry about.

* * *

**_[HEAVY WHEEZING] [DYING WHALE NOISES] [ANGRY SHEEP]_**


End file.
